In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best english jokes, english puns and english dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Hilarious and Classic English Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
1. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
2. How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
3. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
4. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two-tired!
5. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite!
6. Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems.
7. How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
8. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
9. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
10. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
2. Side-Splitting One-Liners: The Best English Jokes for Quick Laughs
1. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – can’t put it down!
2. Parallel lines have so much in common – it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
3. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes – she gave me a hug.
4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
5. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
6. I told my computer I needed a break and now it won’t stop sending me travel ads.
7. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
8. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes – she gave me a hug.
9. The rotation of earth really makes my day.
10. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
3. Punny and Witty English Jokes That Will Brighten Your Day
1. I used to be a baker but I couldn’t make enough dough.
2. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
3. I used to be a baker but I couldn’t make enough dough.
4. The girl said, “People who sell vegetables are gross.” I replied, “Lettuce be lovers”.
5. The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
6. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
7. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – can’t put it down!
8. I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said, “Not yet, but we placed an ad.”
9. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
10. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
4. Laughing Out Loud: The Top English Jokes About Everyday Life
1. I used to be a baker but I couldn’t make enough dough.
2. The rotation of earth really makes my day.
3. The gangster’s son metaphorically said to his father, “Dad, I’m gonna follow in your footsteps.” His father jokingly replied, “Sorry son, I have a limp.”
4. I told my computer I needed a break and now it won’t stop sending me travel ads.
5. The girl said, “People who sell vegetables are gross.” I replied, “Lettuce be lovers”.
6. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
7. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
8. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
9. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes – she gave me a hug.
10. The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
5. Clever and Comical: The Funniest English Jokes That Will Have You in Stitches
1. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
2. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
3. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite!
4. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
5. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
6. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two-tired!
7. I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said, “Not yet, but we placed an ad.”
8. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
9. Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems.
10. How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!