In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best constipation jokes, constipation puns and constipation dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Hilarious Jokes to Get Things Moving: The Best Constipation Jokes for a Good Laugh
1. Why did the constipated mathematician bring a pencil to the bathroom? In case he had to work it out.
2. What did the constipated computer say to the IT professional? “I need a download… and I mean NOW.”
3. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom… of the constipation problem.
4. How do you cure constipation? Just let it go and it’ll work itself out in the end.
5. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn’t budget his time on the toilet.
6. Why do bees never get constipated? Because they always have a buzz in their stomach.
7. What did the constipated train conductor say? “I’ve been stuck in this tunnel for far too long!”
8. Why did the constipated man bring a ladder to the bathroom? He heard it was a stool softener.
9. How do you know if you’re constipated in space? You can’t see Uranus.
10. What did the constipated ghost say? “I’m feeling a little boooo-locked up.”
2. Gut-Busting Humor: Funny Jokes About Constipation to Brighten Your Day
1. What do you call a constipated detective? No Shit Sherlock.
2. Why did the constipated horse enter the race? Because it was trying to win by a nose.
3. How did the constipated man feel after taking laxatives? Relieved… and a little empty inside.
4. What did the constipated cow say to the farmer? “I need to MOOO-ve this along.”
5. Why did the constipated chef quit his job? He couldn’t handle the pressure in the kitchen.
6. What’s the constipated comedian’s favorite joke to tell? “I’m feeling a little backed up, folks!”
7. Why was the constipated owl always tired? It was up all night trying to give a hoot.
8. What did the constipated pirate say? “Arrr, I can’t seem to find me booty.”
9. Why did the constipated sailor get fired? He kept shivering his timbers.
10. How did the constipated cheese say goodbye? “I’ll see you later… I’m feeling a little blocked up.”
3. Laughing Through the Discomfort: Top Constipation Jokes to Share with Friends
1. Why did the constipated man go to the art museum? He heard they had some re-LAX-ing exhibits.
2. What did the constipated superhero say to the villain? “Release me, I’m in dire need of assistance!”
3. How did the constipated athlete win the race? By taking a running start.
4. Why did the constipated musician write a song about their troubles? They needed to get the crap out.
5. What did the constipated cat say to its owner? “I’m feline a little backed up today.”
6. Why did the constipated cowboy ride into town? To rustle up some laxatives.
7. How did the constipated dog feel after a walk? Like it had unearthed a buried treasure.
8. What did the constipated construction worker say on the job site? “I’m really backed up here, guys.”
9. Why did the constipated doctor have trouble diagnosing patients? They couldn’t see past their own blockage.
10. How did the constipated basketball player feel after the game? Like they had been rebounding all night.
4. Let’s Talk Crap: The Funniest Constipation Jokes That Will Keep You Regularly Chuckling
1. Why did the constipated burglar break into the pharmacy? He was in desperate need of a heist-rectomy.
2. What did the constipated farmer say to his crops? “I’m feeling a little corn-sternated.”
3. How did the constipated alien communicate its need for help? It beamed out an SOS signal.
4. Why did the constipated king have trouble ruling his kingdom? He couldn’t pass any legislation.
5. What did the constipated architect say to the building inspector? “I’m backed up on the blueprints.”
6. How did the constipated astronaut feel in space? Weightless… but definitely not stress-free.
7. Why did the constipated comedian perform on a cruise ship? To see if their jokes would float.
8. What did the constipated teacher say to the class? “I’m going to need a bathroom break… quite urgently.”
9. How did the constipated pilot fly the plane? By hoping for some turbulence to shake things loose.
10. Why did the constipated magician have trouble pulling a rabbit out of the hat? It was stuck in the hat-trick loop.
5. Poop Puns Galore: Side-Splitting Jokes About Constipation That Will Leave You in Stitches
1. What did the constipated beekeeper say to the bees? “I’m humming a different tune today.”
2. Why did the constipated clown have trouble blowing up balloons? They were full of hot air but going nowhere.
3. How did the constipated botanist deal with their plants? They tried to leaf them alone.
4. What did the constipated artist say about their work? “I’m really blocked up creatively.”
5. Why did the constipated fisherman have trouble casting his line? He was feeling a little reel-y backed up.
6. How did the constipated chef spice up their dish? They added a little bit of pepper-mint.
7. What did the constipated ninja say in battle? “I need to unleash my inner chi… and the rest.”
8. Why did the constipated scientist have trouble finding a cure? They couldn’t see past their own blockage.
9. How did the constipated baker handle their bread dough? They kneaded it into submission.
10. What did the constipated football player say to the coach? “I need a sub… stitute for this situation.”