In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best horror movie jokes, horror movie puns and horror movie dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Top 10 Gut-busting Horror Movie Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Scream with Laughter
1. Why did the ghost go to the bar? For the boos!
2. What do you call a vampire’s lemonade stand? A bite-sized business.
3. Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
4. How do monsters like their eggs? Terri-fried!
5. Why did Dracula become a vegetarian? He heard stakes are high in cholesterol.
6. What is a ghost’s favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie.
7. Why didn’t the zombie go to school? He felt rotten to the core.
8. How do you mend a broken Jack-o’-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
9. What do you call two witches living together? Broommates.
10. Why was the scarecrow promoted? He was outstanding in his field.
2. Hilarious One-liners from Classic Horror Films that Will Have You Dying of Laughter
1. “I see dead people. But then, by the time they see me, they’re usually running the other way.” – The Sixth Sense
2. “Why do they run out of popcorn every time the detective wants to talk to them?!” – Scream
3. “Sure, Dracula can fly. But did you know he also moonlights as a bat?” – Dracula
4. “I don’t have a problem with camping. I have a problem with killer dolls in the woods.” – Child’s Play
5. “I don’t always kill zombies, but when I do, I prefer headshots.” – Resident Evil
6. “If you think my chainsaw is scary, you should see my tax returns.” – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
7. “I thought mummies were supposed to stay buried, not on Tinder.” – The Mummy
8. “Why do ghosts hang out in caves? Because they’re bat-terranians.” – The Ring
9. “I tried to tell a werewolf a joke once. He didn’t laugh, he just howled.” – An American Werewolf in London
10. “Why did the killer get a job at the bakery? He heard they kneaded a hand.” – Friday the 13th
3. The Ultimate List of Horror Movie Jokes That’ll Have You Wetting Your Pants with Laughter
1. Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank? He needed a little bite in his life.
2. Where do werewolves shop for clothes? At the thrift store, they’re always looking for a good bargain.
3. How does a witch tell time? She looks at her witch watch.
4. What did the zombie comedian say to the audience? “I’m dead serious.”
5. Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends? Because he’s a pain in the neck.
6. How do you serve a ghost his meal? You coffin it up.
7. Why did the monster eat a light bulb? Because he wanted a light snack.
8. How do you communicate with a mummy? By sending him a telegram.
9. Why was the scarecrow a successful comedian? He knew how to keep his audience in stitches.
10. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
4. Laugh Out Loud with These Side-splitting Horror Movie Jokes that Are to Die For
1. Why did the ghost go to the party? He heard it was going to be a scream.
2. How did the zombie introduce his wife? “Meet my dead mate.”
3. What’s a ghost’s favorite game? Hide and shriek.
4. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? He heard it was a real rib-tickler.
5. Why don’t ghosts like raincoats? They prefer to go au-scare.
6. What do you call a vampire who’s been to the gym? Buff the vampire slayer.
7. Why did the vampire get in trouble at school? He was caught fang-doodling in his notebook.
8. What did the possessed doll say to the little girl? “Let’s play a game of head and body.”
9. Why don’t zombies ever win at poker? They can’t find a hand they’re willing to bet on.
10. What do you call a group of witches who live together? Broomies.
5. Creepy, Crawly, and Hilarious: The Funniest Horror Movie Jokes You’ll Ever Hear
1. Why did the monster go to therapy? He had a lot of issues to work through.
2. What did the vampire say to his date? “You’re coffin me with all these cheesy pick-up lines.”
3. How does a ghost keep up with the times? By reading the paranormal activity blog.
4. Why did the zombie start a garden? He wanted to grow finger foods.
5. What’s a werewolf’s favorite mode of transportation? A bloodhound.
6. Why don’t witches date warlocks? Because they don’t like being hexed.
7. How does a mummy stay fit? He’s always on a pyramid scheme.
8. What’s a vampire’s favorite dance? The fang-tango.
9. Why was the haunted house always full? It had killer curb appeal.
10. What did the zombie say to the ghost? “You’re looking a little transparent today.”