In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best drinking jokes, drinking puns and drinking dad jokes to make you laugh.
Pouring on the Laughs: Hilarious One-Liner Drinking Jokes
1. I’m not an alcoholic, I’m just a social drinker… with a very active social life!
2. I’m on a whiskey diet – I’ve lost three days already.
3. To some, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.
4. I drink to make other people interesting.
5. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again neither does milk.
6. I told my wife I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti. She couldn’t believe it until I rode pasta.
7. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
8. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
9. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two tired.
10. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – I just can’t seem to put it down.
Bottoms Up and Giggle: Top 10 Funny Drinking Jokes to Tell Your Friends
1. My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
3. I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both lefts which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.
4. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
5. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
6. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
7. Parallel lines have so much in common – it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
8. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
9. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
10. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Cheers to Comedy: Rib-Tickling Bar Jokes for Every Drinker
1. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
2. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
3. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
4. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
5. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left.
6. Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? There was nothing left but de-brie.
7. I’m friends with a calendar. We go way back.
8. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
9. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
10. Aren’t skeletons super calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
Drink, Drank, Joke: The Best Alcohol-Themed Puns and One-Liners
1. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
2. I’m in a meeting about redundancy. They said they didn’t need me, so I had to let them go.
3. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
4. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
5. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
6. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
7. I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
8. I have a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
9. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
10. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
Raise Your Glass to Humor: Laugh-Out-Loud Drinking Jokes for Any Occasion
1. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
2. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? R (arrrr!)
3. I’m friends with a calendar. We go way back.
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
5. To some, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.
6. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
7. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
8. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
9. Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? There was nothing left but de-brie.
10. I’m in a meeting about redundancy. They said they didn’t need me, so I had to let them go.