In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best gem jokes, gem puns and gem dad jokes to make you laugh.
Shiny and Funny: Hilarious Gem Jokes That Will Rock Your World
1. Why did the diamond go to school?
Because it wanted to be a gemstone!
2. What did the ruby say when it was feeling down?
Cheer up, don’t be so blue-sapphire!
3. How do you make a gem laugh?
Tell it a facetious joke!
4. Why did the emerald break up with the sapphire?
Because it couldn’t handle the pressure!
5. What did the gem say to the geologist?
You rock my world!
6. Why did the opal go to the doctor?
It was feeling a little lackluster!
7. What did the jade say to the amethyst?
You’re a gem-tleman!
8. How do you know if a gem is telling the truth?
You can see right through it!
9. What do you call a gem that’s always late?
A procrastinite!
10. Why did the diamond go to therapy?
It had too many ‘flaws’ to work through!
Laughing Gems: The Top 10 Gem Jokes That Will Make Your Day
1. What do you get when you cross a gem with a potato?
A mash-uplite!
2. Why was the opal so good at making friends?
It had a lot of facets!
3. Why did the garnet break up with the quartz?
They just couldn’t seem to find their groove!
4. What did the gem say to the jeweler?
Don’t take me for granite!
5. How do gems stay in touch?
They use facet-book!
6. Why did the ruby refuse to play hide-and-seek?
Because it was always getting caught red handed!
7. How do you make a gemstone sneeze?
Give it a little gemstone pepper!
8. What did the sapphire say when it was feeling down?
I’m feeling a little blue, but I’ll bounce back!
9. Why did the emerald call in sick to work?
It was feeling a little green!
10. What’s a gem’s favorite game?
Gemopoly!
Gem-tastic Laughs: 5 Side-splitting Jokes About Gems You Can’t Miss
1. Why was the diamond so good at blackjack?
It always knew when to ‘hit’ or ‘stand’!
2. What did the gem say when it won the beauty pageant?
I’m a real gem-ima winner!
3. Why did the sapphire turn red?
It was feeling ruby-sh!
4. What did the jewel thief say when he broke into the museum?
That he was just taking gem control!
5. Why did the opal get a job at the comedy club?
It wanted to shine brighter than the rest of the gems on stage!
Gemstone Giggles: The Funniest Jokes About Precious Stones
1. What’s a gem’s favorite TV show?
Everybody Loves Raymond-dite!
2. How do gems keep track of time?
With a gemstone watch, of course!
3. Why did the pearl get in trouble at school?
It was caught oyster-gating!
4. What did the topaz say to the diamond in a footrace?
You may be fast, but I’m facet-er!
5. Why did the amethyst get detention?
It was acting a little too ‘crystalline’ for the teacher’s liking!
Rock On!: A Collection of Gem Jokes That Are Pure Comedy Gold
1. What did the geologist say to the gemstone?
You rock my world, literally!
2. Why did the garnet go to the psychiatrist?
It had some serious ‘mineral’ issues!
3. How do gems communicate with each other?
They use precious stones!
4. Why did the diamond get a job at the bakery?
It wanted to make some carats of its own!
5. What did the gem say when it won the marathon?
I out-gem-stoned the competition!