In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best halo jokes, halo puns and halo dad jokes to make you laugh.
Master Chief Approved: The Top Hilarious Halo Jokes
1. Why did Master Chief go to therapy? He had too much Cortana-ing!
2. What do you call a group of Spartans at a party? Master Chief and the Teabaggers!
3. How do you know Master Chief is a great chef? He always finishes The Fight with a Halo!
4. Why did Master Chief join a band? He heard they were looking for a good drummer for the Covenant!
5. What does Master Chief say when he’s running late? “Sorry, I was stuck in traffic on the Halo Ring!”
6. How does Master Chief like his coffee? With extra Cortana-mel!
7. Why did Master Chief bring a ladder to the fight? To take the high ground, just like Obi-Wan!
8. What do you call it when Master Chief goes shopping? Retail Combat Evolved!
9. Why did Master Chief break up with his girlfriend? She kept asking for a Covenant ring!
10. How did Master Chief fix his broken Xbox? He just gave it a little Cortana-therapy!
Cortana’s Choice: Laugh-Out-Loud Funny Halo Puns
1. Why did Cortana get a job at the zoo? She heard they were looking for someone to monitor The Ark!
2. What did Cortana say when Master Chief asked for directions? “Turn left at the Wraith, keep going until you see the Banshees!”
3. Why did Cortana start a garden? She wanted to plant Halo-seeds of destruction!
4. How does Cortana stay in shape? She does virtual push-ups on the Pillar of Autumn!
5. What do you call a group of singing Cortanas? The Harmonized Holograms!
6. Why did Cortana switch careers and become a baker? She heard they needed someone to make Halo-topia rolls!
7. How did Cortana beat Master Chief in a race? She hacked into the Warthog’s GPS!
8. Why did Cortana break up with Siri? She found out she was secretly working for the Brutes!
9. What’s Cortana’s favorite type of music? Binary Beats!
10. How does Cortana stay organized? She uses a virtual Halo-der!
Elite Laughs: The Best Halo Jokes That Will Make You Smile
1. Why did the Elite join a gym? He wanted to work on his Arbiter-t!
2. What do you call an Elite who loves to dance? A Grunt Groove Master!
3. Why did the Elite challenge Master Chief to a dance-off? He heard he had some sick moves on the battlefield!
4. How does an Elite get to work? On a Ghost ride!
5. What’s an Elite’s favorite type of music? Plasma Punk!
6. Why did the Elite go to the dentist? He had a bad case of Grunt-itis!
7. How does an Elite answer the phone? “This is Arbiter, how may I assassinate you?”
8. What do you call an Elite who loves to cook? A Connoisseur of Covenant Cuisine!
9. Why did the Elite start a band? He wanted to name it The Sangheili Serenaders!
10. How did the Elite win the lottery? He got lucky on the Prophet’s Birthday!
Grunt Humor: Unforgettable Halo Jokes That Will Crack You Up
1. Why did the Grunt bring a ladder to the fight? He heard there was a high ground to retreat to!
2. What do you call a group of Grunts on a road trip? The Unggoy Caravan!
3. Why did the Grunt go to a comedy show? He heard they were giving away free Needler jokes!
4. How does a Grunt keep in touch with his friends? Through the plasma communication network!
5. What’s a Grunt’s favorite video game? Dance Dance Revolution with a side of Covenant Chaos!
6. Why did the Grunt cross the road? To run from Master Chief and his trusty Battle Rifle!
7. How does a Grunt plan for the future? By counting his plasma grenades before they hatch!
8. What do you call a Grunt who loves to play pranks? A Trickster of the Unggoy!
9. Why did the Grunt try stand-up comedy? He wanted to tell jokes that would really stick you with a Needler!
10. How did the Grunt win the lottery? He found the jackpot hiding in a hidden room in Halo: CE!
Warthog Wonders: The Most Hilarious Halo Jokes to Brighten Your Day
1. Why did the Warthog go to driving school? It kept getting stuck in reverse on the Halo highways!
2. What do you call a group of Warthogs at a car show? The Mongoose Motorcade!
3. Why did the Warthog get a flat tire? It ran over too many Needlers in New Mombasa!
4. How does a Warthog stay cool in the desert? It cranks up the AC on Sandtrap!
5. What’s a Warthog’s favorite type of music? Dustbowl Blues!
6. Why did the Warthog challenge the Scorpion to a race? It wanted to show off its quick maneuverability!
7. How does a Warthog accessorize? With a custom Holographic Jinx decal!
8. What do you call a Warthog who loves to party? The Hog of Honor!
9. Why did the Warthog go to the spa? It needed a good wax job on its Warthog wheels!
10. How did the Warthog win the demolition derby? It showed off its skillful driving on Valhalla!