In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best america jokes, america puns and america dad jokes to make you laugh.
All-American Laughs: The Funniest Jokes About the USA
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field… just like the American farmers!
2. What do you call an American drawing? A Yankee Doodle Dandy!
3. Why did the American football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback!
4. What did one American flag say to the other flag? Nothing, it just waved!
5. How do you invite an American to a party? You red, white, and blue it!
6. Why did the American golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
7. What do you call a group of musical American cows? The Dairy Aires!
8. Why did the American teacher go to the beach? To test the waters!
9. How do Americans exercise at the beach? By doing star-spangled crunches!
10. What do you get when you cross an American and a fridge? Cool Americans!
Laughing Our Way Across the States: Hilarious American Jokes
1. Why did the Statue of Liberty go to therapy? She had a complex!
2. What do you call an American bee? A USB!
3. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems… just like America’s education system!
4. How do Americans stay cool during summer? They use fans-tastic technology!
5. What did the American buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison!
6. Why was the American football coach angry? Because his players couldn’t keep their heads in the game!
7. How does an American astronaut communicate with aliens? He uses interstellar networking!
8. Why did America invent the internet? So they could Netflix and Bill!
9. What do you call an American fisherman? The hook and the Constitution!
10. Why did the American painter go to jail? He was framed!
Yankee Doodle Comedy: Top Jokes About America
1. Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree? He wanted to make American pie!
2. How do American farmers greet each other? Hay there!
3. What do you call an American snake? A rattlesnaker!
4. Why did the American cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumbly!
5. What’s Uncle Sam’s favorite music? Liberty and justice for all… rock!
6. Why did the American clock go to the therapy? It had too many ticks!
7. How do Americans like their steak? Medium red, white, and blue!
8. Why did the American car visit the dentist? It had too many fillings!
9. What do you call a patriotic insect? A yankee doodle dragonfly!
10. Why was the American flag always busy? It had too many stars to take care of!
Stars, Stripes, and Smiles: The Best American Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh
1. Why was the American old lady always smiling? She was Ben Franklin happy!
2. How did the American burger propose to the hotdog? With a ring of onion!
3. What do you call an American dinosaur? A starsaurus!
4. Why did the American tree go to the bank? To get some more branches!
5. Why did the American computer catch a virus? Because it had a bad mbps!
6. How do Americans count their money? In dollars and cents of humor!
7. What did the American to-do list say? Let’s make America grate again!
8. Why did the American ghost go to the party? To have some “boo”-ze!
9. What do you call an American cow with no legs? Ground beef!
10. Why did the American athlete go to college? To increase his running for president chances!
From Sea to Shining Sea: A Collection of Side-Splitting American Jokes
1. Why did the American cross the road? To get to the Declaration of Independence!
2. How do Americans like their eggs? Red, white, and scrambled!
3. What do you call an American dog that loves basketball? A hoop hound!
4. Why was the American fish always in trouble? It kept swimming upstream in politics!
5. What did the American comedian say to the crowd? Let’s make America laugh again!
6. How do Americans sail the ocean? With starboard and pride!
7. Why did the American cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!
8. What’s Uncle Sam’s favorite dessert? Apple pie-thon!
9. Why did the American superhero flush the toilet? Justice League of cleanliness!
10. Why did the American spaceship break up with the star? It needed some space!