In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best stitch jokes, stitch puns and stitch dad jokes to make you laugh.
The Top 10 Rib-Tickling Stitch Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh
1. Why did the blanket go to the doctor? It had a stitch in its side!
2. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear…stitched up!
3. Why did the thread break up with the needle? It just couldn’t sew things working out!
4. How does a seamstress cheer up? She needles a little laughter!
5. What did the fabric say to the needle? Sew long!
6. Why do ghosts like to sew? They’re good at haunting stitches!
7. What’s a sewing machine’s favorite type of music? Bobbin’ and weavin’!
8. Why did the needle go to school? It wanted to be a little sharper!
9. How does thread get from one place to another? It takes a stitch lift!
10. What do you call a tailor with a cold? A coughin’ and sneezin’ machine!
Stitch Jokes That Will Have You in Stitches
1. Why couldn’t the thread find its way home? It got all tangled up in the yarn!
2. How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste…and a few stitches!
3. What’s a tailor’s favorite movie? Sewing in the Rain!
4. Why was the shirt always gossiping? It loved to stitch and tell!
5. What did the button say to the zipper? Zip it, or I’ll sew you up!
6. How does a seamstress stay calm? She knows how to thread lightly!
7. Why did the needle feel left out? It was always feeling a little pointy!
8. What do you call a fake sewing machine? A sewing imposter!
9. Why did the shirt blush? It saw the scissors and felt a little cut off!
10. Why do magicians make great tailors? They’re always pulling stitches out of hats!
Get Ready to Giggle: Hilarious Stitch Jokes for All Ages
1. How do you know when a joke is sew good? You’re in stitches!
2. Why was the button feeling down? It was going through a rough patch!
3. What did the mama stitch say to the baby stitch? You’re so spool, my little thread!
4. How does a sock fix a hole in its toe? With a little bit of darning magic!
5. Why did the dressmaker go broke? They were always cutting corners!
6. What’s a vampire’s favorite fabric? Count Stitch-ula!
7. Why did the sewing machine break up with the iron? It just couldn’t press its buttons!
8. What do you call a bear who loves to sew? A stitches bear!
9. Why was the tailor always late? He was always running a little hemmed up!
10. How does a shirt win an argument? It buttons up its lip and sews on!
From Sewing Room to Comedy Club: The Best Stitch Jokes Around
1. Did you hear about the tailor who got locked out of their shop? They had to use a needle and thread to pick the lock!
2. Why did the button refuse to listen to the zipper? It thought it was too snappy!
3. How do you mend a broken heart? With a lot of sewing and a little love!
4. What did the fabric say to the needle? Sew you later!
5. Why do seamstresses have a great sense of humor? They’re always ready to sew you off your feet!
6. What’s a dress’s favorite food? Sew-ta-toes!
7. Why was the shirt unhappy? It was feeling a little buttoned up!
8. Why do ghosts make terrible tailors? They always keep losing their threads!
9. What do you call a fish who loves to sew? A needlefish!
10. How does a sewing machine stay in shape? It runs its thread-mill every day!
Stitch Puns That Will Leave You in Stitches
1. What did the patch say to the shirt? Let’s stick together!
2. How do you mend a broken sewing machine? With a little elbow grease and a whole lot of stitches!
3. Why did the button start a band? It had a great sense of style…and could really pick up the tempo!
4. What did the tailor say to the impatient customer? You need to learn to hem and haw!
5. Why was the sewing machine tired all the time? It was always running out of th-rea-d!
6. What’s a needle’s favorite game show? The Great British Sewing Bee!
7. Why did the zipper get so emotional? It was always feeling a little attached!
8. What’s a tailor’s least favorite day of the week? Sew-Tuesday!
9. Why did the dressmaker always win at poker? They had a great poker face…and knew how to stitch up a winning hand!
10. How does a seamstress make new friends? She threads carefully!