In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best detective jokes, detective puns and detective dad jokes to make you laugh.
Sherlock Holmes Jokes That Will Crack You Up
1. Why did Sherlock Holmes never play hide and seek? Because good detectives always know where to find you.
2. Why was Sherlock Holmes always calm during investigations? Because he had elementary composure.
3. How does Sherlock Holmes keep fit? Elementary, my dear Watson – he exercises his little grey cells!
4. Why did the detective bring a pencil to the crime scene? To draw his own conclusions.
5. Why can’t Sherlock Holmes go to a bar? Because he always solves the case before he finishes his drink.
6. What do you call Sherlock Holmes in the desert? A sand-erdetective.
7. Why did Sherlock Holmes never get lost in the forest? Because he could always ‘deduce’ which way to go.
8. What was Sherlock Holmes’ first name before he was born? Pre-Sherlock.
9. How did Sherlock Holmes find his missing keys? Elementary, my dear Watson – he looked in the case file.
10. Why did Sherlock Holmes refuse to play cards with Dr. Watson? Because he always had aces up his sleeve.
Hilarious Detective Puns Guaranteed to Make You Laugh
1. How did the detective solve the clothing theft case? He followed the clothesline.
2. Why was the detective so good at solving cases while on a diet? Because he never missed a “clue meal.”
3. Why did the detective bring a pencil to the crime scene? To draw his own conclusions.
4. How did the detective stay cool during the investigation? He kept a “noir” conditioner handy.
5. Why did the detective become a magician? He loved solving “hat” cases.
6. Why did the detective take up gardening? He wanted to solve the “roots” of the problem.
7. How does a detective like his coffee? With a little bit of “suspect.”
8. Why was the detective always calm? Because he had a “clue” of what to do.
9. What’s a detective’s favorite fruit? Evidence-berries!
10. Why did the detective always carry a map? He didn’t want to be “lost in the case.”
Side-Splitting Private Investigator Jokes for Mystery Fans
1. Why was the private investigator always in shape? He was great at “tailing” suspects.
2. What do you call a private investigator who is also a magician? An “illusion” detective.
3. How did the private investigator track down the missing heating unit? He followed the “hot” leads.
4. Why did the private investigator become a baker? He wanted to solve the “crumb” cases
5. Why did the private investigator take up yoga? To find his inner “peace” of evidence.
6. How did the private investigator solve the case of the missing socks? He followed the “footprints”.
7. What’s a private investigator’s favorite movie genre? Mysteries, of course!
8. Why did the private investigator bring a ladder to the crime scene? To get a “higher” perspective.
9. How did the private investigator become a chef? He always found the “missing ingredient.”
10. Why did the private investigator always carry a flashlight? He liked to shed some light on the case.
Detective Riddles That Will Test Your Crime-Solving Skills
1. I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. I have no body, but I come alive with the wind. What am I? An Echo.
2. A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife called the police. The police questioned the wife and she said she was sleeping. The maid said she was getting the mail. The gardener said he was planting seeds. The cook said she was making breakfast. Who killed the man? The Maid. There is no mail on Sundays.
3. What is at the end of a rainbow? The letter “W”.
4. What has keys but can’t open locks? A piano.
5. I have cities, but no houses. I have mountains, but no trees. I have water, but no fish. What am I? A map.
6. The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I? Footsteps.
7. I am taken from a mine, and shut up in a wooden case, from which I am never released, and yet I am used by almost every person. What am I? Pencil lead.
8. What runs around the whole yard without moving? A fence.
9. What has a head, a tail, is brown, and has no legs? A penny.
10. What has a heart that doesn’t beat? Artichoke.
Laugh Out Loud Detective Jokes for Anyone with a Keen Eye for Clues
1. Why did the detective break up with his girlfriend? She was always ‘evidence’ cheating on him.
2. What do you call a detective who is also a painter? An “art” investigator.
3. Why did the detective bring a ladder to the crime scene? He wanted to “rise” above the competition.
4. How did the detective solve the mystery of the missing garden gnome? He followed the “squeaky” leads.
5. Why did the detective go to the baseball game? He heard they caught a “stealing” base.
6. How did the detective become a comedian? He always cracked the best “case-files”.
7. What’s a detective’s favorite type of music? Suspect-rock!
8. Why did the detective always carry a mirror? To reflect on the case.
9. What do you call a detective who is also a plumber? A leak investigator.
10. How did the detective know the suspect was lying about their alibi? They couldn’t “mask” their lies.