In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best military jokes, military puns and military dad jokes to make you laugh.
Top 10 Hilarious Army Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
1. Why did the scarecrow join the army? He heard they needed a few good kernels.
2. Why did the soldier break up with his calculator? She was too square for him.
3. What do you call a group of army snipers? A “target audience.”
4. Why did the army general go to the doctor? He had too much “military” time.
5. How does an army medic like his coffee? Depresso.
6. Why do soldiers always carry a map? In case they get lost in the military complex.
7. Why did the army recruit get expelled from school? He was caught “drafting” an essay.
8. Why did the soldier bring a ladder to the battlefield? He heard the war was going to be intense.
9. How does the military communicate during a blackout? By using “private” messages.
10. Why was the army sergeant always calm? He had a lot of “combat” experience.
Laugh Away with These Side-Splitting Navy Jokes
1. Why do sailors make terrible comedians? They can’t handle the “sea” sick audience.
2. What did the ocean say to the navy sailor? Nothing, it just “waved.”
3. How do you know if a ship is intelligent? It goes to “navy” school.
4. Why did the navy captain get a sunburn? He needed to “sea” more sunscreen.
5. Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the submarine? In case he needed to “dive” deeper.
6. What do you call a fish that flies over the navy ship? A “flying saucer.”
7. Why do navy sailors make terrible gardeners? They always “seaweed” the wrong plants.
8. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of music? “Navy” melodies.
9. Why did the navy sailor get in trouble with his calculator? He tried to “divide” the ship.
10. How do you repair a broken boat in the navy? With a “seal”-ant.
Crack a Smile with These Funny Air Force Jokes
1. Why do Air Force pilots always look so calm? They have a lot of “air” experience.
2. What do you call a fly in the Air Force? A “fly” lutenant.
3. Why did the Air Force recruit bring a pencil to the workout? In case he needed to “draw” in some energy.
4. Why did the Air Force officer bring a map to the meeting? He wanted to “draw” out the plan.
5. How does the Air Force communication stay secure? They use “flying” codes.
6. Why do Air Force pilots make terrible chefs? They always “wing” the recipe.
7. What’s a pilot’s favorite type of sandwich? A “fly” club.
8. Why did the Air Force jet break up with the Air Traffic Controller? They had “terminal” issues.
9. How do Air Force pilots stay fit? They “wing” it at the gym.
10. Why did the Air Force officer join the orchestra? He wanted to play the “flyute.”
ROFL: The Best Marine Corps Jokes for a Good Time
1. Why did the marine recruit wear camouflage to a job interview? He wanted to “blend in.”
2. What do you call a nervous marine? Semi-permeable.
3. Why did the Marine Corps recruit bring a math book to boot camp? He heard they were good at “combat” equations.
4. How do Marines keep in touch with their families? By using “semaphore” signals.
5. Why did the marine break up with his girlfriend? She couldn’t “shell” out any affection.
6. What do you call a group of marines taking a nap? A “siege” of sleepers.
7. Why did the Marine Corps recruit get kicked out of the library? He was caught “checking out” too many books.
8. What did the sergeant say to the recruit who couldn’t do push-ups? “Drop and give me a “history” lesson.”
9. Why did the marine bring a ladder to the beach? He wanted to “escalate” the situation.
10. How do marines stay cool in the heat? They “tank” their lucky stars.
Over and Out: Army Ranger Jokes That Will Have You in Stitches
1. Why did the Army Ranger break up with his calculator? It just didn’t “compute.”
2. What’s an Army Ranger’s favorite type of tree? A “boot” tree.
3. Why did the Army Ranger bring a ladder to the forest? He heard the mission was going to be “high.”
4. How do Army Rangers communicate during a stealth mission? By using “whisper” technology.
5. Why did the Ranger get kicked out of forestry school? He kept saying “tree-t” instead of “tree.”
6. What do you call a group of Army Rangers camping in the woods? A “ranger” danger.
7. Why did the Army Ranger get in trouble with his sergeant? He brought his “ranger” candy to boot camp.
8. Why did the Army Ranger join the gardening club? He heard they needed someone to “ranger” the plants.
9. How does an Army Ranger relax after a mission? By watching a “ranger” of TV shows.
10. Why was the Army Ranger always calm under pressure? He had a lot of “rangerous” training.