In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best washington jokes, washington puns and washington dad jokes to make you laugh.
“Hilarious Washington Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud”
1. Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree? He couldn’t resist the urge to make some fresh cherry pie!
2. What do you call a Washingtonian who only wears rain boots? A sole survivor!
3. Why do politicians in Washington D.C. never play hide and seek? Good luck finding anyone honest enough to be seeking!
4. How does the capital keep its pants up? With a beltway!
5. What do you get when you cross Seattle’s Space Needle with a joke? A high-pitched giggle!
6. Why did the coffee lover go to Washington? To espresso herself!
7. How do you find Will Smith in Washington D.C.? Look in the Capitol!
8. Why don’t vampires go to Washington D.C.? They can’t handle the stake out!
9. Why did the tourist get lost in Washington? They couldn’t “Capitolize” on directions!
10. What did the clock do when it had a cold in Washington? It became a little “second-hand”!
“Top 10 Funniest Political Jokes about Washington D.C.”
1. Why don’t politicians in Washington D.C. play poker? Too many cheaters in the house!
2. Why was the math book sad in the Capitol building? All its problems were unsolvable!
3. How does a politician in Washington D.C. start a conversation? They filibust a sentence!
4. Why did the congressman bring a ladder to the election? He wanted to campaign up the polls!
5. Why did the senator bring a map to the last vote? He wanted to see “Washington the result”!
6. Why do politicians in Washington D.C. love Coca-Cola? It’s the only thing they can agree on being always “fizzy”!
7. What do you call a bunch of politicians in a hot tub? A jacu-politic party!
8. How do politicians in Washington D.C. stay warm in the winter? They filiblanket themselves!
9. How did the congressional bill get through the House? It took a lot of lobby and elbow grease!
10. Why don’t politicians in Washington D.C. play chess? They can’t handle being so politically “stale-mated”!
“Laughing Through the Streets: Washington D.C. Jokes That Hit the Mark”
1. How do you know if you’re in Washington D.C.? You can “capitolize” on the puns and jokes!
2. What do you call a squirrel in the White House garden? A candidate for the next election!
3. Why did the reporter go to Washington D.C.? They wanted to Capitolize on the latest news!
4. How does the Washington Monument keep its cool? It always has a pointed argument!
5. Why did the comedian move to D.C.? They heard all the jokes were a real “Capitol riot”!
6. What do you call a group of politicians falling down a flight of stairs? A “down-fall” election!
7. Why don’t politicians in Washington D.C. go to the beach? They get too caught up in the tide of change!
8. What did the tourist say when they saw the Lincoln Memorial? “I’m Monumentally impressed”!
9. Why did the lobbyist go to the baseball game in D.C.? They heard it was a real grand “slam-dunk”!
10. Why don’t politicians in Washington D.C. write poetry? They’re afraid of a “Capitol offense”!
“Tickle Your Funny Bone with These Washington State Jokes”
1. How does Washington State keep its cool? It always sports its rain boots!
2. What did the apple say to the banana in Washington State? “Thanks for being a good pear!”
3. Why did the Bigfoot move to Washington? It wanted to enjoy the forest with its fellow “treemendous” residents!
4. Why don’t vampires go to Washington State? They can’t handle the sun “break”!
5. How do you know if you’re in Washington State? The mountains always “peak” your interest!
6. What did the software developer say about moving to Washington State? “It’s a real code change!”
7. Why don’t bears ever get lost in Washington State? They always have a “bear”ing on directions!
8. What do you get when you cross Washington State with a joke? A punchline ripe as a Washington apple!
9. Why did the donut move to Washington State? It wanted to hole up in the rainy weather!
10. Why did the hiker go to Washington State? They needed a “peak” adventure in the mountains!
“Washington, Wine, and Wit: Funny Jokes That Will Make You Smile”
1. Why don’t wine enthusiasts ever leave Washington? They have a grape time enjoying the local vineyards!
2. How does Washington serve its wine? With a side of “grape” entertainment!
3. What do you call a comedian at a Washington wine tasting? A real “cork”er of jokes!
4. Why did the sommelier move to Washington? They heard the wine selection was “vine-tastically” good!
5. How do you know if you’re in Washington? The wine always makes you “raisin” the roof with laughter!
6. Why did the wine snob go to Washington? They wanted to discuss the wine with fellow “grape minds”!
7. What did the grape say when it saw the vineyard in Washington? “It’s a real grape escape”!
8. How do you know if you’re in a Washington wine bar? The jokes are always aged to perfection!
9. Why did the comedian get a job at the Washington vineyard? They heard it was a real “grape” opportunity!
10. What did the wine say to the wine glass in Washington? “You’re looking vine today!”