In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best alcohol jokes, alcohol puns and alcohol dad jokes to make you laugh.
Raise a Glass to Laughter: Top Funny Alcohol Jokes to Lighten the Mood
1. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!
2. I told the bartender I needed a stiff drink. He gave me a tampon and a tequila shot.
3. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
4. I used to think drinking wasted brain cells, but then I thought, ‘What the heck? It’s time for them to die anyway.’
5. You know you’re drunk when you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener.
6. Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything, including bad decisions made after one too many drinks.
7. I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year, on my birthday and when it’s not my birthday.
8. I’m not saying I’m an alcoholic, but I can’t remember the last time I was sober.
9. Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
10. I drink to make other people interesting.
Cheers to Hilarity: Hilarious Jokes About Drinking that Will Leave You in Stitches
1. I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you… and tequila.
2. Why do bartenders make good comedians? They serve up killer shots!
3. Why did the beer go to school? To get a little “ale-cation”!
4. I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I’m a drunk, we go to parties.
5. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
6. The first thing I’m doing after quarantine is getting a liver transplant.
7. I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There’s a knob called ‘brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.
8. I’m not drunk, I’m just allergic to sobriety.
9. I don’t have a drinking problem, except when I can’t get one.
10. Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families, and careers.
Sip, Sip, Hooray: The Best Alcohol Jokes That Will Have You Raising Your Glass in Laughter
1. I’ve been sober for over a year now, not in a row, just in total.
2. Why did the cyclist bring a drink to the race? For a pit stop.
3. A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her to give him another shot.
4. How do you know when you’re buzzed? When you start swatting at the flies in your beer.
5. My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.
6. Never trust atoms, they make up everything, including your decisions after a few drinks.
7. I only drink on days that end in ‘y’.
8. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
9. Alcohol is like a push-up bra for personality.
10. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including their drinking problems.
Bottoms Up to Humor: Funny Drinking Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Chuckle
1. My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.
2. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!
3. I used to think drinking wasted brain cells, but then I thought, ‘What the heck? It’s time for them to die anyway.’
4. You know you’re drunk when you swerve to miss a tree and realize it was your air freshener.
5. I’m not saying I’m an alcoholic, but I can’t remember the last time I was sober.
6. Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
7. Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything, including bad decisions made after one too many drinks.
8. I drink to make other people interesting.
9. I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you… and tequila.
10. Why do bartenders make good comedians? They serve up killer shots!
Toasting to Comedy: The Most Entertaining Alcohol Jokes to Share with Your Drinking Buddies
1. I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year, on my birthday and when it’s not my birthday.
2. I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I’m a drunk, we go to parties.
3. Why did the beer go to school? To get a little “ale-cation”!
4. I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I’m a drunk, we go to parties.
5. Why did the cyclist bring a drink to the race? For a pit stop.
6. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
7. I drink to make other people interesting.
8. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including their drinking problems.
9. Bottoms up! Just don’t drink and derive.
10. Alcohol is like a push-up bra for personality.