In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best guinness jokes, guinness puns and guinness dad jokes to make you laugh.
“Pouring on the Laughs: Hilarious Guinness Jokes That Will Leave You in Stitches”
1. Why did the man bring a ladder to the Guinness factory? Because he heard the drinks were on a higher level.
2. What did the bartender say when the ghost ordered a Guinness? “I’m sorry, we don’t serve spirits here.”
3. How does a skeleton drink his Guinness? Straight from the funny bone.
4. What do you call a stolen Guinness? A draught robbery.
5. Why did the Guinness lover go to the doctor? Because they were feeling a little hoppy.
6. How do you know if someone is a true Guinness fan? They’ve mastered the perfect pour.
7. What’s a vampire’s favorite Guinness? Bloody good.
8. Why did the Guinness go to the party alone? He wanted to be the life of the stout.
9. What did the Guinness say to the bartender who tried to cut him off? “I’ll have a Guinness word with your manager.”
10. What do you get if you cross Guinness with chocolate? A sweet stout surprise.
“A Toast to Humor: The Top Guinness Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh”
1. Why did the beer go to school? To get a little “hops” education.
2. What do you call two birds in love drinking Guinness together? Tweethearts.
3. Why did the beer file a police report? It was mugged.
4. How does a bear drink a Guinness? With bear hands.
5. What did the beer say when it got stood up on a date? “You’ve made me ale alone.”
6. How does a beer cheer up a friend? With malt-tivation.
7. What’s a beer’s favorite kind of music? Baroque-n roll.
8. Why did the beer go to therapy? It had some serious bottle issues.
9. What did the bartender say to the Guinness with a broken glass? “There’s no need to be so stout-hearted.”
10. Why did the beer go to the art show? It heard there would be some “craft” beer on display.
“Sipping on Comedy: The Funniest Guinness Jokes to Brighten Your Day”
1. How does a glass of Guinness keep its cool? By staying chilled out.
2. Why did the beer have a hard time finding a girlfriend? It had commitment issues, always saying “I’m not ready to settle down yet.”
3. What did the bartender say to the beer that was floating? “Quit messing around, get down to earth.”
4. Why did the beer break up with the wine? They just couldn’t find a balance in their relationship.
5. What do you call a fake beer friend? A froth.
6. How does a beer keep track of time? With its hands.
7. Why did the beer go to therapy? It had some serious bottle issues.
8. What’s a beer’s favorite snack? Pretzels, they really twist its taste buds.
9. Why did the beer file a lawsuit? It was kegging up all its frustrations.
10. What did the beer say when it won the lottery? “I’m hopping mad with joy!”