Top Poison Jokes, Poison Puns, Poison Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best poison jokes, poison puns and poison dad jokes to make you laugh.

Deadly Funny: Top Poison Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh

1. Why did the poison take up acting? It wanted to be in a toxic play!
2. What did the poison say to the insect? “You’re bugging me!”
3. What do you call a poisonous snake that is good at math? Adder!
4. How do you make holy water? By boiling the hell out of it!
5. Why did the poison start a band? It wanted to be a venomous singer!
6. Why did the poison go to school? To learn how to kill it in chemistry class!
7. What do you call a poisonous bird? A toxic squawk!
8. Why did the poison miss the party? It got held up in the bloodstream!
9. How do you make a poisonous drink? Just add a splash of venom!
10. Why was the poison always calm? It had a tranquilizer effect!

Toxic Hilarity: The Best Poison Jokes That Will Leave You in Stitches

1. What do you call a poisonous vegetable? A toxicchoke!
2. Why did the poison go to the doctor? It was feeling a bit under-the-weather!
3. How do you make a poisonous dessert? Just sprinkle a little bit of arsenic!
4. What do you call a poison that’s also a ninja? A toxic-shuriken!
5. Why did the poison go to the library? To check out some deadly books!
6. What did the poison say to the sour cream? “You’re making my milk curdle!”
7. Why did the poison get kicked out of the bar? It was too intoxicating!
8. How do you make a poisonous sandwich? Just add a touch of cyanide!
9. Why did the poison want to be a comedian? It had a lethal sense of humor!
10. What do you call a poisonous insect that’s good at surfing? Venomous!

Laughing Gas: Hilarious Poison Jokes to Lighten Your Mood

1. Why did the poison take up gardening? It wanted to plant some deadly nightshade!
2. What do you call a poisonous animal with great rhythm? A toxic-tapper!
3. How do you make a poisonous soup? Just add a pinch of hemlock!
4. Why did the poison break up with its girlfriend? She was too toxic for it!
5. What do you call a poisonous computer? A toxic-PC!
6. Why did the poison go to the circus? To see the juggler play with toxic balls!
7. What did the poison say to the water? “You’re diluting my potency!”
8. How do you make a poisonous cocktail? Just mix in a splash of strychnine!
9. Why did the poison become a fashion designer? It wanted to create deadly trends!
10. What do you call a poisonous reptile that’s always sad? A venom-mope!

Lethal Laughter: The Funniest Poison Jokes to Brighten Your Day

1. Why did the poison take up painting? It wanted to create toxic masterpieces!
2. What do you call a poisonous comedian? A toxic-jester!
3. How do you make a poisonous sandwich? Just add a dollop of ricin!
4. Why did the poison go on a diet? It wanted to be a slim toxin!
5. What do you call a poisonous musician? A venomous-singer!
6. Why did the poison go to the zoo? To visit its toxic friends!
7. What did the poison say to the insect repellant? “You’re ruining my buzz!”
8. How do you make a poisonous salad? Just sprinkle a bit of mercury!
9. Why did the poison go to the orchestra? It wanted to hear some toxic tunes!
10. What do you call a poisonous spider with a sense of humor? A venom-laugher!

Wickedly Hilarious: A Collection of Poison Jokes That Will Have You Rolling on the Floor Laughing

1. Why did the poison try out for the baseball team? It wanted to be a toxic pitcher!
2. What do you call a group of poisonous insects? A toxic swarm!
3. How do you make a poisonous stew? Just add a drop of botulism!
4. Why did the poison start a blog? It wanted to spread its toxic thoughts!
5. What do you call a poisonous fish with good manners? A polite-puffer!
6. Why did the poison go to the art gallery? To see some deadly portraits!
7. What did the poison say to the spider? “Stop spinning such a toxic web!”
8. How do you make a poisonous cake? Just add a hint of strychnine!
9. Why did the poison go to the music festival? It wanted to rock out to some deadly tunes!
10. What do you call a poisonous monster that loves to dance? A venom-boogie!