Top Kiwi Jokes, Kiwi Puns, Kiwi Dad Jokes & More

In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best kiwi jokes, kiwi puns and kiwi dad jokes to make you laugh.

Hilarious Kiwi Jokes to Make You Laugh Out Loud

1. Why did the kiwi bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
2. What did the kiwi say when he wanted to go faster? Let’s pick up the kiwi!
3. Why did the kiwi go to the doctor? Because he wasn’t peeling well!
4. How do you know a kiwi is lying? You can see right through his kiwi-lies!
5. What do you call a group of kiwis? A flock of fruity friends!
6. Why did the kiwi sit in front of the fan? He wanted to be a cool kiwi!
7. What do you get when you cross a kiwi with a kangaroo? A fruit that can jump over a wall!
8. Why was the kiwi so good at math? He knew all the root-facts!
9. What do you call a sleeping kiwi? A snore-ange!
10. How do kiwis get around? By using the kiwi-cycle!

The Top 10 Funniest Kiwi Jokes Guaranteed to Brighten Your Day

1. Why was the kiwi always so excited? He had a zest for life!
2. What did the kiwi say to the melon? You’re one in a melon, mate!
3. How does a kiwi answer the phone? Kiwi can do it!
4. What do you call a sad kiwi? A tear-kiwi!
5. Why don’t kiwis ever get lost? Because they always have their kiwi-map!
6. What do you get when you cross a kiwi with a ghost? A boo-kiwi!
7. Why did the kiwi fail the music test? He couldn’t find his kiwi-tar!
8. How did the kiwi propose to his girlfriend? With a kiwi ring!
9. Why did the kiwi climb the tree? To see the kiwi-top view!
10. What did the kiwi say at the job interview? I’m kiwi-tted for this position!

Laughing All the Way from New Zealand: Kiwi Jokes that Will Crack You Up

1. Why did the kiwi go to the dance? He heard it was a fruit-bop!
2. What did the kiwi say when he won the race? Kiwi believe I did it!
3. How do kiwis communicate from far away? They use tele-kiwi-nication!
4. Why did the kiwi break up with the pineapple? He couldn’t handle the tropical heat!
5. What do you call a kiwi that’s always happy? A carefree kiwi!
6. How do kiwis stay in shape? They go to the gym and do kiwi-robics!
7. Why did the kiwi go to the art gallery? To see the kiwi-schmaltzy!
8. What do you get when you mix a kiwi with a lemon? A fruit with a zesty twist!
9. Why did the kiwi tell such bad jokes? He had a kiwi-sense of humor!
10. How do you get a kiwi’s attention? Just shout “Hey, kiwi!” and he’ll turn around!

Kiwi Jokes That Will Have You in Stitches: A Collection of Side-Splitting Humor

1. Why was the kiwi always so polite? He had good man-kiwi-ers!
2. What do you call a kiwi that’s always on time? A punctual fruit!
3. Why did the kiwi apply for a job at the zoo? He wanted to be closer to his kiwi-cousins!
4. How do kiwis cool down on a hot day? They have a kiwi-lice cream!
5. What do you call a kiwi that’s always causing trouble? A rotten fruit!
6. Why did the kiwi go to the movie theater? He heard they were showing a kiwi-lassic film!
7. How do kiwis solve problems? They put their thinking kiwi-ps on!
8. What did the kiwi say to the apple? Stop being a bad apple and be more kiwi-nd!
9. Why did the kiwi bring a spoon to the picnic? He heard it was a fruit salad!
10. How do you make a kiwi laugh? Just tickle his kiwi-sides!

From Down Under to Up in Laughter: The Best Kiwi Jokes for a Good Time

1. Why did the kiwi refuse to jump off the diving board? He was too chicken-kiwi!
2. How do kiwis stay grounded? They have strong kiwi-roots!
3. Why did the kiwi go to the library? To find the kiwi-fiction section!
4. What do you call a kiwi that loves to dance? A fruit that’s always in the kiwi-groove!
5. Why did the kiwi go to the comedy club? He wanted to laugh until he turned kiwi-green!
6. What do kiwis use to write letters? Kiwi-lling pens!
7. How do kiwis make decisions? They flip a kiwi-oin!
8. Why did the kiwi cross the road? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
9. What do you get when you mix a kiwi with a banana? A tropical fruit salad!
10. How do you make a kiwi float? Just add some kiwi-fizz!