In this very funny joke compilation, we have come up with the best lawyer jokes, lawyer puns and lawyer dad jokes to make you laugh.
1. Hilarious Lawyer Jokes That Will Make You LOL
1. Why don’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.
2. What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t chase ambulances? Retired.
3. How can you tell if a lawyer is lying? Their lips are moving.
4. Why did the lawyer go to the dentist? To improve their argument.
5. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
6. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your honor.
7. How does an attorney sleep? First, they lie on one side, then they lie on the other.
8. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer miles.
9. Why did the lawyer cross the road? To get to the car accident on the other side.
10. How many lawyer jokes are there? Only three. The rest are true stories.
2. Top 5 Side-Splitting Attorney Jokes
1. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of pigs? The lawyer eventually gets out of the mud.
2. Why did the lawyer wear a suit to court? Because they couldn’t find their lawsuit.
3. Why did the attorney wear two pairs of pants to work? In case they got a lawsuit.
4. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito? One is a bloodsucking parasite, the other is an insect.
5. Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to court? To raise their objections.
3. Laugh Out Loud with These Funny Legal Jokes
1. What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t play by the rules? The defendant.
2. Why was the attorney always calm? They knew how to plead their case.
3. How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.
4. Why did the lawyer go broke? They lost their appeal.
5. Why do lawyers make the best politicians? They’re experts at passing the bar.
4. The Best Lawyer Jokes to Brighten Your Day
1. Why don’t lawyers go to the beach? Cats keep trying to bury them.
2. What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? Their partners.
3. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee? A boxing referee doesn’t get paid more for a longer fight.
4. How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? You can’t fit a finger between the noose and their neck.
5. Why did the lawyer bring a gun to court? To the shoot the breeze.
5. You’ll Crack Up at These Amusing Attorney Jokes
1. Why was the lawyer always calm during cross-examination? They had a brief case.
2. What do you call a lawyer who is gone? A subpoena.
3. Why did the lawyer bring a thermometer to court? They wanted to raise the case’s temperature.
4. Why do they bury lawyers 100 feet down? Because deep down, they’re good people.
5. Why did the lawyer start a gardening business? They had a knack for planting evidence.